main page * buy the book * gift receiving * selecting a cake * choosing a dress * about the authors

The Funny Bride Guide: A humorous, but
practical guide for the bride!

Let Them Eat Cake!

Your wedding cake is not just dessert! It is an essential element in the overall decorum of your reception. Make sure it is drop-dead gorgeous.

There are a lot of amateurs out there calling themselves wedding cake bakers. Wedding cakes, as a rule, are big enough to feed an army. These cakes often require a degree in architecture to build and balance the tremendous number of platforms. So hire an expert! The cake should not collapse before you do.

There is a trend toward not having real flowers on a cake because of pesticides, but we have yet to hear of someone dying of wedding cake. If you are really concerned, plant and grow your own flowers, pesticide-free.

Your cake should be beautiful and tasty, but don't waste a lot of money. Cake is cake, no matter how you slice it. Some inexpensive wedding cakes are delicious, while exorbitantly priced creations can taste like they were made with sawdust. It pays to shop around.

What kind of cake is appropriate for a wedding? Even though chocolate is a favorite, it is traditional to have white frosting. Go ahead and have chocolate cake, or any kind of cake for that matter, but keep the frosting white.

One last note. You and your husband should decide in advance whether you will pleasantly feed each other the ``first bite'' or if you plan on having a knock-down, drag-out, put-up-your-dukes food fight.

Crowds can get ugly (even at weddings) and they will be egging you on to consider the food fight option. WHAT A HORRIBLE TRADITION--BEGINNING A MARRIAGE WITH A FIGHT? Ignore these lousy agitators and your growing bond of trust and love will be even stronger.