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No, Really, Thank YOU!
In the midst of preparing for your wedding, don't forget to prepare
for another crucial part of the festivities: the shower! What is most
difficult is figuring out exactly what to say while all eyes are upon
you. Fortunately, your self-proclaimed marital mentors at The Funny
Bride Guide are here to help with advice and tips on how to sail
through this process glamorously and effortlessly, even when you've
just unwrapped that third ice cream maker. Of course, to be fully prepared
for your shower, you'll have to buy the book--but just to get you
started, here are a few graceful responses to some of the types of
gifts you will receive:
Not Quite Right
``A Crock Pot! They still make these? How retro! You are so hip and trendy. I can put it on slow cook tonight and have dinner ready upon our return from the honeymoon.'' Not Quite Sure...
You've opened a gift, and you don't know what it is. It looks like a silver fan on a silver stick. How do you address the problem? Your heart is racing; you become flushed. Suddenly one of your guests tugs on her ear, giving you a signal (sounds like, sounds like). She begins flying around the room like a fairy.
Could this be charades and she's trying to help you? Fairy? Fairy? Berry? Berry! Could it be a BERRY SPOON? Of course! ``Thank you! My Cheerios will appreciate the delicate dispersal of berries upon them with this lovely spoon!'' Redundant
1. ``Look at this ice cream maker! Yummy, yummy! I've always wanted one of these! Why take five minutes to pick up a pint of Haagen-Dazs when you can spend half a day with one of these? What a fun gift, thanks!'' Repulsive
``A crocheted doll toilet paper cover! Look how pretty she is! She's a little toilet paper princess! She'll keep my extra toilet paper dust-free and sanitary. Really...thank you!'' Miscellaneous
``A candle snuffer! Now here's a practical gift. And ooh! What a handy item after a power outage. 'Honey, get the candle snuffer, the lights are back on!' What a luxury. Thank you so much!'' |